A real Chicago Edition car

       While walking back from lunch with my accomplice Mark <redacted>, we witnessed a VW that proudly declared itself "Chicago Edition".  We then proceeded to discuss what a "Real" Chicago Edition car would be like.
       First, it would need high ground clearance.  Those pot holes aren't getting any smaller.  Nor are they being repaired.  Second, it would need to be very thin.  This is not because Chicagoans are, as a rule, thin.  They aren't.  Rather it is because the parking spaces are so narrow that the people striping them must have assumed that cars were being made without side mirrors, and that we would all be entering through sun roofs.  For the same reason, a Chicago Edition car would, in lieu of paint, be covered in Line-X or Herculiner.
       Due to Chicago always having the highest gas prices in the known universe, (OK In America), the car would come equipped with at least two gas tanks.  This is so you could fill up in Indiana or Wisconsin, and still have a lot left over.  A Chicago Edition car would also include a decent stereo.  One that you would not need to replace, but wasn't too nice either.  No one wants to steal a stock stereo.
       The interior would only be available in Neoprene, and have a drain in each seat, as well as the floor.  Ever try to eat a beef sandwich in the car?  You need a way to hose it out when you're done.  It would have wrap around bumpers and a brush guard, as well.  So when some jerk rams into you in a parking lot, and fails to leave a note, it is less likely to do any damage.
       Options for the Chicago Edition would include a "Red Light Camera GPS", which would warn you as you approached a monitored intersection.  The upgraded one would have a plate that covers your license plate, and a very bright flash, front and rear, that would blind the cameras.
       Another option, of course is the bullet proof glass and body panels, just in case.  The used ticket book for the dash, and Fraternal Order of Police plaque on the rear is available for a small donation.  This does not mean you can just speed around and park wherever you want.  (Wink, Wink)