If you don't have a door, don't use speaker phone.

       Today we will again delve into the world of office ignorance.  There are times when using a speaker phone is appropriate.  Such as when you are on a conference call, or are listening to voice-mails that were left for the whole office, or the entire office is crowded around one monitor and phone for a we conference.  If you are an executive with your own office and a door, then it is OK to use speaker phone, provided the door is closed.  That is not today's topic.
       Today we will be discussing when not to use your #^<!^@ speakerphone.  Such as, when you share an office with other people.  We don't give a rat's ass what your messages are.  Also, we are trying to do our work, you inconsiderate moron, so please pick up the ever-loving handset.  The same rules apply to cubeville.  If someone is listening to their messages it is definitely not OK to use your speakerphone.  those sour looks; not because we all had the same bad bagel for breakfast.  We all hate that you can't see how ignorant you are being.
       If you have a job that requires waiting on hold with technical support, such as IT; then you may use speakerphone, with the volume low, provided you are doing other work while you wait.  It is still ignorant, but it is acceptable.  If, however, you are just sitting at your desk complaining about the music, you may not use speaker phone.  Unless you wish people in your office to begin doing unholy things to your coffee mug, chair, water bottle, and handset.  (For those rare occasions you use the thing.)
       There are many companies that manufacture headsets if you require hands-free operation.  I hear that in this wireless age there are even ones with no cords.  Now I have a solution for correcting the ignorance of others, and surprisingly it does not involve violence.  Wait until they are checking voice-mails, (of course on speaker) and make an important call.  The other person will likely ask what the "noise" is.  Apologize for the noise and say that you have a co-worker who has an earache and cannot put the handset to their ear.  Or just say "I'm sorry, I work with a self-important moron, I'll call back when they are done using their speaker phone at full volume."
       I would recommend just putting a call on speaker every time they do, but experience shows that the caliber of idiot who does this sort of thing is: A, immune to irony  B, unlikely to notice, and C, not likely to learn.  I would not recommend cutting the wires with their own scissors while they are using the phone.  Nor would I recommend Unplugging the cord, applying super glue to the contacts and letting it dry, then plugging it back in.  Those sorts of thing will get you in trouble if you are caught.  And after all, we can't have that.