Children. What they don't tell you.

       I am keeping to my vow to not discuss politically contentious issues here while they are emotional ones. Instead I am presenting another "what they don't tell you"


       "Oh! you're having a baby.  How wonderful.  It's so rewarding to be a parent."


       Not to disparage this attitude, because it is rewarding, but there are many things that get left out.  A baby's cry is the exact frequency and tone to disrupt sleep.  That is not my opinion, (well it is, but also) it has been proven scientifically.  (I'm too lazy to reference the study, so I'm following the media's example and just saying things without citing a source.)
       All children are bipolar, diabetic, sociopaths.  They are Bipolar because they swing from the highs to the lows instantly.  this eventually wears on the parents, who become a bit like this themselves.  I say they are diabetic because they get cranky, unreasonable, and a bit crazed if they don't get a constant supply of food, and completely manic when given sugar.
       The sociopath thing is more complicated, but true, because all of us are sociopaths until we learn that we are not the center of the universe.  For some it never really goes away.  For kids, they are the center of the universe, because to them the universe is mommy and daddy.  As their perception increases, mental conflicts are caused by the dawning realization that they are insignificant, in the grand scheme of things. (as are we all)
       It would be good if we were told upfront just how much quality of life changes for the worse. I love my kids and they are wonderful. Truly I never understood what love was before having children. They have made me a better, more thoughtful person.
       This is because if I hadn't become more thoughtful, I would have gone completely insane. No sleep, no time to think, no ability to spend time "decompressing", and no time to spend with my wife, (alternating shifts) let alone friends, (with their own lives, or kids) adds up to becoming either more contemplative, or homicidal.

There are those who will think me a monster for having written this. And there are those who are parents.

Relax. That is why we keep the booze to ourselves.